O.P.T.P.
How long can you go without toilet paper. If you are a movie character you can go for quite a while. They never have to go, except in "True Lies". I believe it was the Tom Arnold-Barr scene.
I once lasted 4 years without purchasing a single roll. My roomate, Bon, and I made a pact to go through college without buying any Charmin. We did it. During the times when we took a break from college, we took a break from the TP embargo. This did not mean that we ever used any crude forms of hygeine. We simply found creative ways to get our supplies.
Everytime I went home for a visit, and to do my laundry, I received a care package which included a four-pack. Then there was a special key which Bon possessed which would allow someone to open commercial toilet paper dispensors like the one in the Raines Building. There was the Raines Building bathroom. I still stop by and utilize it when driving on HWY 27 through Lake Wales. They still make single ply. Hmm. Hey, I wasn't the first to use the impromptu dorm visit with the sudden urge to use the facilities. There are more secrets to our... success. I am unable to reveal them until our book is out, "How To Make It Through College Without Spending A Dime On Toilet Paper".
Why have I thought of this? I had to buy some TP a couple days ago and I realized, "This is the last roll I will buy in California." After this, we go on O.P.T.P. (Other People's Toilet Paper). Don't worry, I will not teach my kids my thieving ways. We will also be using other people's soap, pillows, and T.V.'s. Monday, October 16th will be a year and one day after we started our journey out here. We will now work our way to our new destination. We are excited to get on the road and see more of this beautiful country. We will soon nest down. Daddy will soon get a real job.
Kathleen has almost everything in boxes. She even has boxes inside of boxes.
When you do that a couple times, you realize that we have a lot of things inside boxes. You also discover that you CAN live without what fills most of those boxes. Why do we choose to live our life surrounded by things and stuff and bottles of junk and tubes of goo.
I met a man who paid to store all his junk. He had a Fax machine in there. He asked me if I want to buy it. He told me it had a little issue with it and it would need repair. I graciously declined and told him about this new thing that Al Gore invented where you can send messages through a computer. I encouraged him to pay to have it fixed instead of paying someone to keep it in their spider infested hot box. By doing that, I was hoping that I would get to see someone pay more money to get something fixed than it would cost to buy a brand new multi-function unit.
Keep us in mind as we pack the stuff that we have decided not to part with and visit hot dog stands and gas stations. Pray for the safety of our journey and our new landing. Who knows, maybe we will see you soon and ask to borrow your facilities. And if you see our van outside the Raines Building, don't worry, we will not hoard. You never know, maybe, just maybe we are stuffing paper back up into those dispensers.
Oh, I guess I should also confess that some of the Charmin that my mom sent with me did sort of end up in the trees in the court yard. I've said too much. I must go.
I once lasted 4 years without purchasing a single roll. My roomate, Bon, and I made a pact to go through college without buying any Charmin. We did it. During the times when we took a break from college, we took a break from the TP embargo. This did not mean that we ever used any crude forms of hygeine. We simply found creative ways to get our supplies.
Everytime I went home for a visit, and to do my laundry, I received a care package which included a four-pack. Then there was a special key which Bon possessed which would allow someone to open commercial toilet paper dispensors like the one in the Raines Building. There was the Raines Building bathroom. I still stop by and utilize it when driving on HWY 27 through Lake Wales. They still make single ply. Hmm. Hey, I wasn't the first to use the impromptu dorm visit with the sudden urge to use the facilities. There are more secrets to our... success. I am unable to reveal them until our book is out, "How To Make It Through College Without Spending A Dime On Toilet Paper".
Why have I thought of this? I had to buy some TP a couple days ago and I realized, "This is the last roll I will buy in California." After this, we go on O.P.T.P. (Other People's Toilet Paper). Don't worry, I will not teach my kids my thieving ways. We will also be using other people's soap, pillows, and T.V.'s. Monday, October 16th will be a year and one day after we started our journey out here. We will now work our way to our new destination. We are excited to get on the road and see more of this beautiful country. We will soon nest down. Daddy will soon get a real job.
Kathleen has almost everything in boxes. She even has boxes inside of boxes.
When you do that a couple times, you realize that we have a lot of things inside boxes. You also discover that you CAN live without what fills most of those boxes. Why do we choose to live our life surrounded by things and stuff and bottles of junk and tubes of goo.
I met a man who paid to store all his junk. He had a Fax machine in there. He asked me if I want to buy it. He told me it had a little issue with it and it would need repair. I graciously declined and told him about this new thing that Al Gore invented where you can send messages through a computer. I encouraged him to pay to have it fixed instead of paying someone to keep it in their spider infested hot box. By doing that, I was hoping that I would get to see someone pay more money to get something fixed than it would cost to buy a brand new multi-function unit.
Keep us in mind as we pack the stuff that we have decided not to part with and visit hot dog stands and gas stations. Pray for the safety of our journey and our new landing. Who knows, maybe we will see you soon and ask to borrow your facilities. And if you see our van outside the Raines Building, don't worry, we will not hoard. You never know, maybe, just maybe we are stuffing paper back up into those dispensers.
Oh, I guess I should also confess that some of the Charmin that my mom sent with me did sort of end up in the trees in the court yard. I've said too much. I must go.
Yes, it's true that I had a key to the t.p. dispenser but we only used it when we needed it. Since Paul has "outed" me regarding the t.p. I must in turn "out" him. Just ask him about the "goat incident". Enough said about that.
Regarding the "magical key", it was a beautiful thing. Along the same lines as Adam Sandler's remote control in the movie "Click", I had the universal key that for whatever reason fit into any toilet paper dispenser on campus. There were two major downsides to this however...1) One-ply action, and 2) trying to conceal that tire-sized roll of institutional grade paper back to the dorm. Has the statute of limitations expired on this issue yet? If not, I take back everything I've said.
Bass family... The east awaits you with open arms, hurricanes, old people who can't decide which way to turn, road construction that never ends, and a school system that believes in "No Child Left Untested" Come on back!
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