There is no mail delivery here. I'm proud of that. I have to drop in at the post office and pick up my mail. There is screaming fast internet, 200 channels of cable, and a golf course, but no mail.

I found out I didn't get the garbage out in time for the one day of garbage pick-up. The neighbor (I like to call him, "Neighbor") suggested that I call and ask if they can have someone come out and get it. If I explain that we are from "the city" and we are unaccustomed to the ways of the country, they might just help us out. Neighbor was right. The waste transporter came by with his wife in his personal pickup. He insisted that we leave the trash out and he will come back later. "There's too much trash to wait another week." Around supper time, he came and emptied our trash.

So, neighbor did it. He won me over. I now trust everything he says. That's why his second piece of advice was impactful. "You're going to have to get up in the morning and put the trash out before 7:00. I used to leave it out at night, but the bears got to be too much of a hassle." I replied, " I am glad that you did not say that to Kathleen. I had thoughts of changing the word "bear" to "deer" or of simply adding the word "koala" to it. After all, Moses and the Israelites were required to have two eye witnesses to convict a criminal. How could I alert the spouse on account of one random talebearer?

A couple hours later, I went to THE grocery store to buy wasp spray. The reaction of the cashier was merely, "See." I asked, "So you have wasps too?" She replied, "Between the wasps and the bears, they're driving me crazy." My thought: "I'm going to need a LOT more of this spray." That was two witnesses. Does God want me to keep this a secret? Hmm. Immediately, I had a major CSI kind of flash. I envisioned those scratches on the door posts of the back doors... 'Don't think they're from the wasps.

Have you ever seen the Wilderness Family? Where can I get a gun?

So I told Kathleen about those pesky deer.