I started a new gig today. I started to market (sell) newspaper subscriptions. Here are some random events and thoughts listed chronologically.
     I am now selling newspaper subscriptions when I haven't even read a newspaper in 10 years. A lady asks me if the paper has a section for obituaries. I answer, "I don't know," not thinking that I could just LOOK in the paper to check.
    I am watching a man on the corner with a sign asking for free money. I am wondering if he is making more money than I am.
    A lady walks by and I refrain from asking if her blackberry would like a newspaper. Sometimes doing something feels like your doing something.
    Possible sales pitch: Ma'am, do you have a parakeet at home?
    A presumably homeless man enters Walgreens with his own shopping cart. I wonder if they do trade-ins. He could use an upgrade.
    A lady just told me I had a nice personality. That's what I've been working on all these years. Now, I can work on the looks.
    Homeless guy with a shopping cart crosses in front of a car and yells at the driver. How dare that driver drive in the direction that he was jaywalking.
    I'm looking at the color of the paper and the color of my legs and I'm a little jealous of how tan the paper appears.
    I bought mints today because I like to give my customers a little something extra. The amount of mints taken by customers: 8. The amount consumed by me 15. I smoked them.
    There is a fly that keeps landing on the newspaper. I think he has a death wish. Doesn't he realize what I can do with this paper?
    I decide to read a book during my slow times. I chose a book about Arab killings of Jews during the Holocaust. This should help off-set, or balance my smiley thoughts while talking to people.  Maybe that's why I suggested to a man who dropped his 2 liter diet coke to let an enemy open that bottle for him.
    I am a horrible salesman. I am selling at a drug store. The lady I just spoke to was high. She obviously was getting a refill on something. If I can't sell to someone who's stoned, I need much work. Like, seminar kind of work.
    I'm not sure what this call this marketing trick but I say, "Hello", she turns to say "Hi" back and runs into the pole in front of the door way. See, I was able to get her to stop.