Day 2:
    A lady in her 80's is wearing a pant suit. Every bit of it is see-thru.
    Decide to get exercise during my break. The strap breaks on the roller blades. I try to use them anyway but the wheels are like gummy worms. I decide to bike and my front brake is pressing against the wheel. I disconnect the brake and forge into the sweaty forest. I see two gopher tortoises, a squirrel and a skink. He's real fast. I need to use the outdoor facilities. I stop and am ambushed by mosquitoes. Literally dozens of them are on me instantly. I decide this is not a good place to expose any more flesh. I hop back on the bike and ride fast.
    When you give someone a free copy of the paper and they exit the store without one, what happened? Man, he reads fast.
    Not as many people taking a free paper today. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there is a 12 inch, full color photo of a roach on the front page.
    How does an 88 year-old man get shot and still survive? The irony is that one day, no matter what, that dude will bow down on his knees to the King of Jews.
    There is a fire in the garbage can where someone threw out a cigarette. I report this man-made disaster and an assistant manager comes out with a special flexi-spouted watering can.
    A Redneck-American in a pick-up truck has a long conversation with a Female-American. The entire time, his hand rests on her rear end. She is outside the truck. This man has a long arm.
    Tomorrow is Southern Day. I will speak to everyone in a southern accent. And not one of those fake Tom Hanks accents.
    A man and woman walk in the store. He is wearing a wife-beater shirt. She is wearing a husband beater shirt. That's cute.
    Soon, I will turn into the Sham-Wow guy.
    Security Guard school.